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Every­body laughed. Every­one snick­ered at the Depres­sion Era Grandad­dy with his euphemistic “Archives”:

His jam jars of nails and screws and nuts and bolts and cot­ter pins and wash­ers and tacks, bits and bobs, spare or often uniden­ti­fi­able parts, stock­pile of lum­ber and finishes;

The can­ning cup­boards with dried goods, the 10 gal­lon bins of flour and sug­ar and rice, the root cel­lar and deep freezer;

The file stuffed with envelopes of saved seeds, the bins of lime, bone meal, blood meal, fish meal, ver­mi­culite, diatoma­ceous earth, the com­post heap;

The self-sufficientist’s “trade sec­tored” shops, — paper work, clay, paint, print­ing, book repair, sewing and tex­tiles, elec­tron­ic parts and repair;

The” Shop with a full com­ple­ment of both wood and met­al work­ing hand tools, as well as com­pact, effi­cient pow­er tools, hand held and stationary;

The enor­mous linen press chock full of infi­nite­ly reusable nap­kins and hand tow­els; the 30 gal­lon antique Ivory soap drum of cot­ton rags…

Every­body rolled their eyes, they spent their hours read­ing Marie Kon­do and fan­ta­siz­ing about a non-phys­i­cal world in which the only thing one need­ed to thrive was a deb­it card or Apple Pay.

Grandad­dy Depres­sion Man is the one laugh­ing now.

Yinz need some­thing, let me know, it’s bound to be some­where in the “Archives.” I come from the land of junk pile front yards. I gotchu, sil­ly urbanites.