If one is tru­ly hon­est, even the most vir­u­lent and pedan­tic ad­vo­ca­tus an­droidus or mi­crosoft­mon­ger must ad­mit that Ap­ple prod­ucts are sen­su­ous enough to al­most tit­il­late and in­duce a fetishis­tic ob­jek­tophilie. Even Bill Gates ad­mit­ted he wished he had had Jobs’ ex­quis­ite sense of taste. Ap­ple prod­ucts are de­signed to se­duce and per­haps the vit­ri­olic boor­ish­ness of many of Ap­ple’s op­po­nents is a sur­­vi­val-trig­gered re­sponse to re­sist the siren’s dead­ly song.

They stuff their ears with the bee’s wax of sibi­lat­ing sol­i­dar­ity and bind them­selves to the main­mast of in­sur­rec­tionary bel­liger­ence. For scru­ti­niz­ing Ap­ple’s su­premacy one should ap­plaud them, as all weilders of in­flu­ence should be ex­am­ined with lid­less eyes. The au­thor, how­ever, is a tech­no­cul­tural prag­ma­tist, in­de­pen­dently choos­ing plat­forms that suit his de­sires, tastes, needs, and only shal­lowly — in­so­far as pos­si­ble — his values.

The fact is, they still just work.